Of Ultimatums and Truths

Yesterday, being a conciencious employee, I filled out a vacation request form for 3 days for a very important family get-together next month. The office manager told me that I couldn't take one of the days off because a co-worker has already put in for that day. I told her that this family event was much more important than this job to me and she needs to find some way of accommodating me.

She told me that one of the owners (living in Palm Springs, no less) says that everyone is replaceable.

She doesn't get it. This is not an ultimatum. The idea of not taking this day off is not an option.

If I lose the job - so be it. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to start my own business.

HELP! I want to kidnap a Border Collie puppy!

This is taking a lot of will power. My husband is trying to be the voice of reason.

My husband's niece just acquired a border collie puppy. She has two little kids. Her 5 year old wanted a puppy. She is not, per sey, a dog person. They have a fenced back yard. My reflex is - I want to rescue this puppy before they really mess her up. There are already problems with puppy dragging stuff off of the tables and peeing on the couch and chewing shoes (hmmm - submissive urinating from being constantly screamed at?).

When my sister-in-law told me that her daughter has a BC puppy, my first response was "She better be prepared for lots of energy and lots of patience and training". She responded with "...but we remember your Crystal (my BC mix who passed away a couple of years ago) and she was so smart and sweet and wonderful with kids!".

Crystal took some work. I then explained that I was a dedicated "socker mom" for Crystal. We ran every morning in the park at 6:00. We went to agility, flyball, obedience classes and competitions. We did this to prevent our house from being destroyed. We did this to keep from murdering her.

She was my alter ego. She was the dog love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love young Miss Trudy. She is doing very well and I love her to bits. I don't and can't ever compare her to Crystal.

After my explanation, I took a deep breath, smiled and said " It will probably be fine. If your daughter finds her too much to handle, I would be happy to take her. The Trudster could use a young playmate." I also suggested that her daughter get thee to obedience class.

Rocky Mountain High - Low - High - Low

We are back from our trip to the Rockies. It is beautiful there. People are friendly and active (oxygen deprived?). The only weird thing that I didn't like was that it was 85 in the sun and 50 in the shade .... and then would get down to 30 at night. What's with that?

I think that I am more of a beach person. Give me sun, sultry weather, miles and miles of white beach, cool clear ocean water, a comfortable beach chair with a canvas umbrella, a good book and a large frosty margeurita anytime and I'm set. I find it easy walking down that beach for miles and miles everyday, jumping in the water to cool down, vegging out in the shade and getting buzzed from the sun and the booze. heaven.

A very interesting place that we visited was Leadville. It's 10,000 feet above sea level. The people there are mostly lost in the 70's somewhere. Who needs weed when you brain is screaming for oxygen?

God called a kind, loving man back home

Today I sent beautiful white flowers to my X sister-in-law, Kay. Her husband passed away last Sunday.

Someone, long ago, said that the "innocent" are the ones that just can't handle the "stuff" here on Earth. My mother was an "innocent" much like my X brother-in-law, Pete. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the basket but he always had a smile and exuded warmth and love. He always had a flirty word or two for the girls. He loved America. When I divorced Kay's brother, Tom, Pete would not give up the idea that I was a good person and always let me know that he was thinking good thoughts about me.

When I went into labor with my second daughter, Pete was the one that I woke up at 3 in the morning. He bundled me into the car and, in his still sleepy confusion, started to drive to the wrong hospital. With an apologetic smile, he managed to get me to the right place and everything worked out just fine.

I guess he just wasn't gnarly enough for this world.

I will always remember him nailing a hankerchief to the door frame and practice his Greek dancing. He never had a lick of rhythm but he sure had some fabulous moves.

He's probably showing God a thing or two, hangin' on some sturdy cloud somewhere, and making the angels blush and giggle.

Moi? Passive Aggressive?

Senerio:
Co-worker: Diane, could you please scan a picture and print it for me?
Me: Oh, sure, no problem. (I do it promptly and give co-worker print out.)
Co-worker: Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the best. Um, Diane, could you please take some of the pink out and get rid of the spot in the middle?
Me: Sure, no problem. (I do it, again, and give co-worker print out.)
Co-worker: Oh, thank you, thank you. You are truly the best. Um, Diane, could you please make some more copies?
Me: Uh, sure, ....when I have time (like when pigs fly).
Co-worker: Hey, Di, where are my copies?
Me: Haven't been able to get to it (like when you need a parka in Hell).
Co-worker: Well, I never?
Me:Well, I guess you won't! Then I usually go do it because I feel evil.

Why can't I just say no in the first place.

Jack, My Bestest Friend

Last night I met my "Ditz" quota.

Trudy and I went to agility class and we did very well. It was a beautiful evening, so I decided to go to the dog park and let her play off leash. We had a good time. She met a handsome German Short Haired Pointer called Baron. We worked on some off-leash agility, using the excellent equipment that they have installed at the park. Life was fine.

We decided to go home....

I leashed Trudy and we walked to the car. Reached into my pocket to get my keys and They were not there. Luckily a man was there to do some jogging....he let me use his cell phone to call Jack.

Jack could not find my extra set of keys at home...we were hoping that they were in the car (my inner-self just snickered). He came out to pick me up. We broke into my car (the rear window is plexiglass and we poked the toggle switch with a wire). My keys were not there (snickering inner self).

We left a note on my car and Jack drove me home. Luckily I found my extra keys on the kitchen floor behind my little lifty stool.

Jack drove me back out to the dog park (by the way, it's 1/2 hr. away) to pick up my car. It was 12:30 at night when we finally got home.

He never once yelled at me, glowered at me, called me stupid or tried to make me cry. He actually tried to make me laugh, instead. I asked him why he wasn't really really angry at me for losing my keys. He told me that it was because he loves me and and why would he want to make me feel worse that I already do, besides, he didn't wan't me to be angry at him the next time he needs me to rescue him... (long sigh)....don't I know by now that that is what loving someone is all about? .......just try not to do it again.

Life with Jack is good

I want to go to Camp Dogwood!

Seee.....there is this dog camp. I know, I know - why can't I just be normal and yern to go to a nifty all inclusive resort down in the Caribbean......

There's a session in October - it's located in the Fox Lake area. You go to camp with your dog and do neat stuff off leash - likehiking, camping, agility and flyball. I get excited just thinking about it.

There is another session in February - It is an inside camp - actually located in the Purple Palace in Lincolnwood. They're going to have all the sports activities, and also T-touch, an animal communicator, message, yoga.......fun stuff (if you are a dog person).

Trudy and I just might take the plunge!

Sin City

Jack and I went to Vegas for our 10th anniversary. Vegas is pretty astounding, but I can only stand it for a few day, then I have to get back to Earth (literally - the substance in which plants grow.)

The Wynn Tower is amazing. It looks like it rose from the ground like the monolyths in 2001 Space Odyssy. It is simple, contemporary and very very expensive. It makes you wonder how they plan to keep all those Pine trees alive on the fake mountain.

Actually, Hell must be a bit like Vegas. Beautiful on the outside, nasty and mean on the inside. After a couple of days, the desk clerks begin to look like those demon ladies in the movie "The Devil's Advocate". The serging masses in the street begin to look like
the "damned", all looking for a drink of water.

Run, run, run, back to your pretty little place - don't look back, you might turn into a piller of salt

Questions, Questions, Questions

Well, here goes, Paula.

1. who would play you in a movie about your life?
Meryl Streep. She could do it.

2. what one basic parenting tenet would you say you followed while mothering three girls?
You can't expect people to respect you if you don't respect yourself.

3. what was your favorite hairstyle you had in the 80s? looking back, what hairdo signaled that you may have reached the nadir of fashion victimhood?
1. A chin length bob that was really short in the back and really long and whiskery in the front, or
2. really blond streaked, permed and scrunched (it really played havoc with my hair, though - I vowed to never perm again).

4. is your life anything your 18-year-old self would have envisioned? why or why not?
Ya know, that is a hard one. I wanted my S.O. to really, actually, honestly likes me even when I'm snotty and unwashed. AndI wanted to be acknowledged for my talents, and I have both. (God works in mysterious ways l.o.l.)

5. what do you want to do for mother's day?
To tell you the absolute truth, I would probably like to go to a dog camp with Trudy, but (realistically) I really enjoy being taken out to a really nice bruch with Bloody Maries et al by y'all. I may just take her to dog park on Saturday for my fix.



The Official Interview Game Rules


1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.

3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Some People Just Love Drama (I guess)

Have you ever noticed that some people just like to storm around, screaming and bellowing in rage like pissed off bovines in a china shop, while others stand there and ring their hands and get ulcers?

Usually these people claim that they are the victims of constant vast injustice. The people who pay attention these beasts are the one who are constantly trampled.

Whenever I hear about such "bull"(lol) crap, I just step aside and think, "Bar-B-Que anyone?"

Fraggle, who?

I've been so busy that I haven't even noticed that March is past and April is here. It's so funny that once the weather starts getting nice, you can't even remember the crappy stuff.

Easter was great. My kids again astound me with their ever improving egg painting skills. It is such a neat holiday because it is so laid back. This year especially, I just sat back and enjoyed the love and the beauty.

Miss Trudy started agility class (way fun) and we have been visiting dog parks (way way fun - for the Trude). I'm afraid, though, just like a little pre-schooler, she has contracted a mild upper respiratory infection. Going to the doctor today. It hasn't slowed her down any. She is such a joyfull creature. I am just crazy about her. Sometimes I'm afraid that I will jinx her because I dote on her so much.

Went to a shower on Sunday. It was very OK. I sat next to a wonderful lady who reminded me so much of a beloved X sister in law. She was fun and a bit wicked (re. my X's wife-who was there) but never in a really mean way.

I've been busy at work. Hey - it makes me feel important and...they pay me.

Life is good.

I'm Sick of Being Cold!

We decided to go South for a bit to get away from the cold. The only problem with this plan is......you have to come back North!

We are so stupid. We know, perfectly well, that after cavorting around in little knit jackets and cropped pants, taking wonderful walks on the beach with the Twerp a.k.a Trudy Blue, listening to wonderful jazz with glass of wine in hand while looking at the sunset over the Gulf, coming home to Michigan frozen Hell is self-torture. You would need to stay away at least until April for it to make sense.

As I walk to my ice frosted car, swathed in my puffy, black, dirty michelin-man microfiber parka with a plaid woolen scarf wrapped around my poor little fuzzy head, I start to seriously wonder what the price of a little place off the beach would set us back.

....But then we are a hardy lot and this too shall pass. Michigan is a beautiful place in the summer.... I must repeat that to myself - over and over - as I scrape the ice from my frozen-shut car door.

Again - you are suppose to double click on the cartoon to be able to read it.

Everybody came to Christmas in spite of myself!

It was a really wonderful weekend, even though I was one pony short of a load. After I had to put the General down, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with Christmas. I felt like laying on the ground and letting the world go over me. It didn't even matter that my house wasn't as "Holiday, in order" as it should have been or my cooking wasn't as great as it usually is on Christmas (I made turnips - for God sake), everyone seemed to have a good time.

My husband, Jack, even shed a tear when everyone left.

What more can I say - next year I promise not to make turnips.
(Paula - yes, I proof read)

Witnessing Human Evolution!!???

Click on graphic to read comic...again.

Well...it finally happened! My daughter's 30th brithday party brought both me and my X together at last.

After bolstering myself with several alcolic reinforcements, I approached, first his wife and then .....the man himself. My children were in a state of breathless suspended animation at the bar waiting for complete distruction. After all....we haven't spoken in 11 years

Our conversation was non-confrontational and....actually rather pleasant. No one wanted to rock the boat. My husband, Jack, had a long conversation with Tom about fishing. I gauked. Judy, my X's wife just talked about whatever prevented "dead air"

My kids, I think, were afraid of ruining THE PEACE. They were afraid that one word from them would turn the whole thing over.

There is hope in this world.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger - yeah right

CLICK ON IMAGE TO READ COMIC
The Holiday Season - where can I buy a temporary robot brain on the web?


I talked to my "totally amazing" older sister today. She's stressing - I'm amazed that she would admit this to me. She confided that she has had many invitations for Thanksgiving via her children and has decided that she would rather spend a quiet dinner with her crazy real estate partner and his wife instead.

I've always considered the holidays like hunkering down and pushing through a horrible storm. This is the time that I most long to be a Stepford Wife.

A pilate reject 

Taking Credit Where It Is Definately NOT Due

Did my monthly dressage clinic, with Katherine Sutton, on Sunday. She just raved at how well Chinos, a very large, fat, & lazy Holsteiner mare, was coming along. She told me that she relies heavily on me to get this horse moving and back into shape. She tells me how the owner is soooooo happy lwith my efforts.

......the thing is.......I'm lucky if I ride this horse once a week. I think that I have a rep for being a bit - let's say - aggressive with horses.

I nod and smile, though. I think the owner is just riding Chinos as aggressively as he thinks that I am and making progress!

I can take credit for that.

I gotta go PEEEE! 

Of Northern Lights & Dog Knowledge

Last night I saw the Northern Lights. It looked like a silver rainbow with a pink and green rippling curtain hanging from it. The meadow in the back of our house is a perfect arena for viewing "things in the sky". The only reason I would go out into the meadow at 9:30 at night is to take the puppy out to go pee. Last night Trudy insisted that I take her out.



It makes you wonder what dogs know and whatthey are NOT telling you.