Aquarian Tangent

Spring Makes Me Cranky!

2008-03-25T11:08:00.008-04:00

VOUSA

This is a Vousa (technically, the Greek word for a toad on a log. How they get Toad-on-a-log from one little word is a mystery to me. But then so are a lot of things that are Greek - like my X). The word "Vousa" also refers to a crabby, petulant person who doesn't want to move (note the expression). Picture this creature crossing it's little arms and saying "hurumph!"

Every Spring, I can relate.

Spring is not a good time of year for me. It is chilly, windy and damp. The yard turns in to mud with ugly old plant material from last year sticking up. I try to take wonder in the tender little daffodils, hyacinths and crocus that are trying desperately to survive (only to be slam dunked by a late Spring snow freeze probably in April - Jeez is there an analogy there?), but it's not working for me.

I can't let Frick and Frack out in the already muddy yard because they will tear it up and come in looking like canine alternatives for a detergent commercial where kids are playing touch football in the mud (you know the one) and, damn it, it's cold, windy and raw out.

CRAP!

We toy with the idea of moving down South, but we really don't want to be away from the kids, babies, friends and activities here by the Lake. I try to fool myself into thinking that maybe the kids would come and visit if we lived in warmer climes, but actually, I know that I can hop in the car and drive for less than two hours to see everybody if I am truly in need of a family fix.

Next year we just might not come home from AL until April. So there ("hurumph!")

Old Beast with Dogs

2008-01-22T13:04:00.001-05:00

Saw this picture and I can see me doing this when I grow up. I wonder how in the heck she picks up the poop, though.

An Insight About Children

2008-01-15T10:15:00.000-05:00

This bit of wisdom is so simple but at times, so hard to grasp. Sometimes you ask "why" and the answer is "It's better not to ask".

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

What Kind of Christmas Are YOU?

2007-12-05T13:43:00.000-05:00

This is from a certain Rizzi Redhead that I know:

1. Favorite Christmas Song:
"Hark The Harold Angels Sing"

2. Age you stopped believing in Santa:
About 8. I could have sworn that I saw him in his sleigh flying over the city!

3. Real Tree or Fake Tree?
Up to now, real, but this year we actually bought a fake!

4. When do you open the bulk of your presents? Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas morning of course!

5. Favorite Christmas movie or special?
Miracle on 34th Street with Natalie Woods.

6. What is your favorite type of Christmas cookie?
The sugar cookies my kids use to decorate. A Second would be the Spitzbuben that Nicole made.

7. Do you know the names of all of Santa's reindeers?? (without using Google) and which one would you be if Santa aske dyou to guide his sleigh???
Dasher, Dancer, Donner and Blitzen. Comet, Cupid, Prancer and Vixen...and, of course, Rudolph. Although, I'd probably be Prancer because I would fall down and get lost as stuff, and he would have to rescue me out in Three Oaks, MI.

8. When is the last time you make a snow angel? When I was a Freshman in High School.

9. What does your stocking look like? Blue velvet with a fuzzy white fur top (Paula gave it to me eons ago.
10. If your wished could be granted for 3 things this Christmas, what would they be??

For Jack to have a 000 PSA test
Cure for cancer
Enough money to pay off our mortgage.

Have an Elfen Great Holiday From The Erwins

2007-11-19T15:06:00.000-05:00

I just couldn't resist this. Make one yourself and post it! Check it out!

meme designed by burglars

2007-11-14T11:21:00.000-05:00

OK, I'll bite. Here is my answers to Paula's burglars' meme:

1. what kind of soap is in your bathtub right now?
I don't know the brand. I have two; one is a citrus exfoliating bar and the other is a black lava purifying bar.

2. do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?
Nope

3. what would you change about your living room?
I would have a fireplace and get tables that match together.

4. are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?
Dirty.

5. what is in your fridge?
Food and batteries.

6. white or wheat bread?
Lately, no bread.

7. what is on top of your refrigerator?
Oven mitts, flash lights and dog treats.

8. what color or design is on your shower curtain?
We have glass doors on our bathtub/showers.

9. how many plants are in your home?
I think - about 5. Right now they are all in a cluster on our back porch.

10. is your bed made right now?
Yep. I make it, but keep it folded open to air it out.

11. comet or soft scrub?
Neither.

12. is your closet organized?
It's - well - comfortably organized. It's not messy.

13. can you describe your flashlight?
We have the plain old battery operated flashlights and a couple of heavy duty rechargeables.

14. do you drink out of glass or plastic more at home?
Glass

15. do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?
No.

16. if you have garage, is it cluttered?
Slightly cluttered, but manageable.

17. curtains or blinds?
Blinds.

18. how many pillows do you sleep with?
One memory foam with a big kingsized backup.

19. do you sleep with any lights on at night?
Oh, God, no.

20. how often do you vacuum?
Two or three times a week (dogs-argh).

21. standard toothbrush or electric?
Electric mostly, sometimes I feel like using by standard brush, though.

22. what color is your toothbrush?
White.

23. do you have welcome mat on your front porch?
Gee, you know, I don't really know. No one uses the front door.

24. what is in your oven right now?
My griddle and a couple of huge pans.

25. is there anything under your bed?
Slippers.

26. chore you hate the most?
Cleaning windows. I never clean windows on a sunny day. You can't get rid of the streaks.

27. what retro items are in your home?
Lots of old photos. Us, actually.

28. do you have separate room you use an an office?
We have a third bedrood that we use as an office.

29. how many mirrors are in your home?
Six

30. do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?
Hidden money?!!!

31. what color are your walls?
Mostly warm taupe. My bathroom is god awful yellow. I was drinking when I painted it. I keep thinking of changing it.

32. what does your home smell like right now?
Hopefully, not dog. I have a great candle called Black Ginger. It's spicey without being too sweet. I love it.

33. favorite candle scent?
See #32.

34. what kind of pickles are in your refrigerator right now?
I don't like pickles. Ask Jack.

35. ever been on your roof?
No.

36. do you own a stereo?
Yes, but we never use it. The CD player is broken. It's kind of a joke because I can only hear out of one ear.

37. how many tv’s do you have?
We have two working TVs and One tiny non-working one in the basement.

38. how many phones?
Four land based and two cells.

39. do you have a housekeeper?
Ha ha ha ha - no.

40. what style do you decorate in?
Comfy and whatever we have that fits.

41. do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?
We have a couch that is solid with printed pillows. It is sinfully comfortable. I guess I like solids best because you can always add printed pillows.

42. is there a smoke detector in your home?
Of course - and also a carbon monoxide detector.

Ah! Lovely Australia

2007-09-25T14:02:00.000-04:00

We just got back on Friday night. It was wonderful. Sydney is gorgeous. The people are great (No worries, Mate). We saw whales, koalas, tons-o-kangaroos, the rain forest etc. etc. The reef was absolutely awesome.

The thing that sort of got me (no, not this really nasty spider) is that Australia is so beautiful and plays host to so many really deadly flora and fauna.

This funnel spider, for example, not only can send you to the hospital, but it seems to really want to. They tell you, with an affable smile, "Check your shoes in the morning, Mate!"

Then you have the Taipan. This little bugger is considered the deadliest snake in the world. There are 5 sub species of them on the East coast of Oz. (good on-ya, Mate!)

Then you have this critter - the Cassowary. It can reach 6' tall. There are signs in the rain forest that tell you not to feed or provoke them if they should approach you. The signs remind one of the signage in the Western U.S. re. cougars. Basically they get mean and can rip you open.

Think "Raptor" in Jurassic Park.

We also did a "rain forest dream walk" with an aboriginal bloak. Really interesting stuff.

See this rather perky little plant here? It's called a stinging tree. If you even stand too close to it, you will have severe pain from little nuerotoxin filled hairs on it's leaves and in the air around it, that can last for months. There are stories of people killing themselves to escape the pain. The aboriginal guy said pulling up the plants root and using it on the spot will ease the pain. But don't count on it.

Then there are the wonderful box jelly fish that can give you cardiac arrest.

No wonder these people have a sense of humor. No wonder they learn to love "Vegemite". (by the way, Zed actually had a little every morning on toast. He really tried to acquire a taste for it, but never really succeeded.)

When they tell you "no worries", it's because they know what "worries" really can be.

The Other side of the World

2007-08-30T10:23:00.000-04:00

We are getting ready to go to Australia.

It hasn't really all sunk in yet. Everyone asks me about the flight. The flight is not freaking me out.

One thing that my thoughts keep coming back to: "What exactly is Vegemite?" I think that this is just a tangible thing that my brain can grasp, turn over and examine. The rest is all a big question mark looming in the time frame before me.

I do know one thing (for some reason). My Dear Husband will fit in perfectly.

Camp Erwin

2007-06-20T20:56:00.001-04:00

FAUNA'S FABULOUS ADVENTURE CONTINUES...

Well, here I am with my new friends, Trudy and Grace at Camp Erwin. Boy was I tired after a long ride with lots of nice people from Warren Michigan.

I missed my Foster Mom, Lisa and my foster family and all, but there are lots of things to do out here, too.

I've been a really good camper here at Camp Erwin. Mom takes me for walks with the other girls around the 'hood'. I'm real good at walking on a leash and could teach the other girls a thing or two about it.

Here is my friend Gracie. She is an Illinois Bird Dog Rescue dog, too. We are getting to be best buds. She showed me around the yard and where all the bird nests are.

I had to learn about the e-fence. The special collars that we wear let us know how far we can go out into the yard with out being bothered by the "Invisible Zap Monster". The collar beeps to let me know that the Zap monster is close. I like it 'cause I can run around and check out all the birds and stuff without worrying. My Foster Mom says I'm real smart because I learned really fast. Now when she gets the special beep collars out, I know I'll be havin' fun.

Here is me and Trudy posing on the back porch. We are both setters and look like we could be sisters. Trudy was a little snobby when I first came, but now we play and run in the yard together all the time with Grace. When we all go for walks with My Foster Mom, she says that we look like a pointer between two setter book ends.

Here we in the yard pointing at the doves in the apple tree!

Grace stands guard next to the tree and watches these birds all the time. I get a little bored and have to play with Trudy some of the time.

Here are the doves. There is a Momma and two babies.

Yesterday, they flew away. My Foster Dad was all nervous about us messin' with the babies. But they are OK.

It's real nice her and all, My Foster Mom is teaching me to "sit" and calls me for a treat about a zillion times a day. I went to a big dog show and met lots of people and was there to watch Trudy strut her stuff.

I wish I could find a forever home, though, so I can have my own Momma and Dad like Trudy and Gracie do.

The Girls

2007-04-09T12:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Jack said that I was eventually going to become a dodgey old dog lady (affectionately, of course). Grace & Trudy were stretched out on my lap and, when they got up, I was covered with white hair. Actually, I would be comfortable betting that, at any given moment, you could find white dog hair clinging to me somewhere. So much of my time is taken up by these creatures.

They are just mystifying to me, though. They love you when you are not even crazy about yourself. The only thing that I really can't give them is the opportunity to run for miles and miles after some bird. That gets them ticked once in a while. Birds and acres and acres of land are dope to bird dogs. That is one time when they forget about everything else.

Oh well.

My Favorite Season - NOT

2007-04-04T16:29:00.000-04:00

Crap! It's Spring in the Midwest. One day warm and rainy and next day, cold and rainy. I know that I should smile beatifically and bat my eyes and say, "April showers - May flowers, etc." but I feel like a big old ugly green thing on a soggy, moldy old log. I am reveling in my foul mood. So just shut up.

The dogs are blissfully stupid about the mud in the yard. Zed is going a bit coo-coo about trying to preserve the grass. He sets up strange stick and string barricades in areas where he plants grass seed. The dogs pop over them as if they are fun agility obstacles just put up for their fancy.

Can't wait till the summer to swing the babies on the hammock. I knew that I bought that thing for some reason.

Where have I been?

2006-12-01T16:33:00.000-05:00

I thought that I would throw some words in here to let everyone know that I'm still alive.

Winter is fast approaching and, for some reason, I think that it will be a good one.

My sister and I were on the phone expounding on how we have 5 grandchildren all in the same year! We are planning to have grandma camp sometime in the future. (Just for 2 days, though, lol).

Trudy & Grace re. The Twins

2006-05-23T13:45:00.000-04:00

You knew that I had to include MY babies in this wonderful event:

The Twins

2006-05-23T13:38:00.000-04:00

They are finally here! They are absolutely gorgeous. I went to help my daughter for a week after their arrival. The week flew by. She was doing great by the end of the week and I knew that it was time for me to leave them. (sigh).

Tired Tired and Dreary Dreary

2006-02-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

February is my least favorite month. Any tolerance to the cold that I might have developed has been replaced with a dogged dread everytime I must venture outside the door.

Everything is black and gray for too long. I just want to curl up and sleep until the croci sproup - or better yet - the daffodils.

My 3rd Grandbaby!

2006-02-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

This little tyke is already dancing - Jazz hands and all.

I'm amazed at the family resemblance to my other two grandbabies! They could be cousins.

Jack and I are thinking ahead. We are going to have t-shirts made up saying "Camp Erwin - Where kids and dogs can be kids and dogs". Jack is remembering all kind of cop stories to tell them (not too violent) and I'll have to build a studio filled with lots of "newsprint" paper, crayons, markers, and finger paints. They will know everything about horses and dogs and, maybe, even learn to handle an agility course. We'll attach the wagon to the lawn tractor and Jack will make a squiggly track through the tall grass in the meadow. Jack will teach them the difference between a white pine and a red pine and an ash from a poplar.

Keep in mind, the grandbabies are just an excuse for us to finally do this! Yeay!

Psychotic Break

2006-01-31T14:52:00.000-05:00

I'm usually pretty mild mannered, but...

I lost it on Saturday evening when I tried to accommodate and was confronted with hate . (ahem that rhymes - sort of like "If it doesn't fit, you must equit.")

This has happened about 3 times during the past 12 years. I pretty much have to feel like I have no recourse in order to compress and explode like that .

In retrospect, I could have handled the situation much more gracefully (the whole damn restaurant was staring at me when we finally left-sheeesh!), but when you lose it you lose it!

Sorry for the shock.

God - I'm Old!

2006-01-23T13:40:00.000-05:00

These birthdays just keep coming faster and faster. A few more years (minus the pipe, but plus the shotgun and a couple more huntin' dogs) this will be me.

Just have to make sure my grand babies like dogs, apple cider and corn bread.

Simply Grace - Our New Addition.

2006-01-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

Yes, everybody, I have yet another dog.

We really weren't looking for another dog yet, but things come up and you wonder whether it is "meant to be". She is Grace. She's very careful and respectful with Socko (Socks totally approves of Grace - still gets ticked off at Trudy for being such a punk. I should have called her Mischief) and she's also young and fit enough to deal with the Trude with out getting aggressive. She is absolutely a sweet, gentle love and has attached herself to me already. I think that she likes that there are rules in the house. It makes her feel comfortable knowing where she fits it. (no beds, no furniture, except the chair and bench on the porch, eating from only your bowl at "foody time", no jumping, no begging.)

Trudy will always be my baby brat, sparkly star, and probably, when Socks passes away, The Boss, but Gracey is an exceptionally sweet dog.

She is only 2 years old. When she was found, she was 10 lbs less than she is in this picture. She had puppies! They don't know what happened to her puppies and she, apparently was very distressed about the loss of them. She has been spayed since and she is UTD on all her shots and worming. They also microchipped her.

She was total Velcro when she first came, but is gaining confidence and happiness every day.

We've discovered that clicker training works well with Grace. We are working on 1. recognizing her name, 2. follow me off lead, 3. come, 4. sit & 5. shake. This is a lot for her to work on, but we keep it at short and fun training sessions with lots of goodies. Trudy is the know-it-all teacher's pet and Socks is the principle.

The only flaw I can find, so far, is that she is not completely housebroken. We are working on that.

New Pix of the Twins!

2005-11-18T15:06:00.000-05:00

Here is the latest picture of my grand-babies.

The baby in the Bottom Bunk is already practicing socker moves. The one on the Top Bunk is practicing (ahem) "fouettés".

In a couple of months, I think that my daughter will be bouncing down the street without even trying!

She's finished with her first trimester (yeay!).

Oh, My God! Little Ones!

2005-11-03T16:24:00.000-05:00

I'm in shock! It has finally happened. My little one is going to have little ones (plural!) With this news, lots of memories of my prenancies came flooding back. ...and worries about my own baby Dina.

These little ones are very lucky because they will be surrounded by many loving people.

...and Louie will be a wonderful big brother

Parasites!

2005-10-24T13:10:00.000-04:00

My blog was trespassed upon by (ewwww) spam.

Parasites and scavengers in the wild are referred to as opportunistic feeders. They should add spammers and phishers under that category too.

It is very much like getting a case of hookworm, a parasite that can be gotten from just stepping in "it" - I guess the "it" in this case would be the WWW. If you don't go in and kill them first, they will polute your blog and kill it.

I activated the comment security thingy (a ha, you naughty little donkeys! Take that and die!) and deleted all the wonderful information about penis enhancement pills. I will continue to check my comments, hoping that they will continue cleanly from all my dear fellow bloggers and not - I'm amazed at the analogy here - spam infected crap.

The Fool on the Hill

2005-10-18T13:33:00.000-04:00

Most of the time I feel as though I am the fool on the hill. Even though I have people whom I love in my life, I am separate. I am an "other". I watch. I listen and understand. I'm not really a part of the machine. I really never have been. I've written poetry about this when I was young. I am still there. I wouldn't know how to act if, all of a sudden, I was included. I know that I value my solitude. So, I guess, It is of my own doing.

My husband is definately part of the machine. I watch him moving and shaking things; connecting with people all the time, every day. I'm amazed that he loves me.
He has a gift.

It's funny. Once in a while, when I really want to participate, I try to be part of the picture. But, I'm a wrench. I am weird - a polysided peg in a round hole.

I've learned that I am loved by a few and I am who I am. I guess that there are people who are movers and shakers who are still very alone.

So..I sit on my hill. I appreciate what life has given me and I watch the horizon for what comes next.

Fun At Camp

2005-10-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

Trudy and I are home from camp! We are both really tired and sore. If you know Trudy, you know that this is a good thing.

The people at camp ranged from typical people with typical dogs who just wanted to do fun things, to rabid "dog people" who do all sports and competitive things that you can do with a canine (conformation, agility, utility, therapy dog, flyball, lure coursing, frisbee, free style, rally O, shutzhund, tracking, field trials, cart pulling, weight pulling, go-to-ground, pier jumping and I know that I've missed something). I fall somewhere in the middle.

It was fun to sit back and observe everybody. It seems that, for some, the dogs are extensions of their own persona. Either what they would like to be or what they are. You begin to realize that there are as many types of people as there are dogs.

Trudy just loved everybody. Almost (not everybody) that she approached wanted to hug her. She is so soft and....happy. She had several best dog friends, Lucy, a spunky Shiba mix who she would play wrestle with for what seemed like hours in the evening when Mom was drinking wine and lounging by the fire with other Moms, Echo, an absolutely gorgeous brindled greyhound with an elegant tapestry collar an an silver and amber fob hanging from its loop (they played with gentle gusto at craft class and then would rest together with intertwined legs) and Adam the black "rock star" afghan hound who had a big crush on her.

Maybe she is what I wish that I could be.

Dogs, Horses, My New Car.....Life Is Good.

2005-09-30T12:42:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to ride again. I found a really gorgeous new stable that is only 7 miles from my house. It is built on the highest point in LaPorte County, IN. The owners are a nice young couple from Chicago. He played polo. She was a pony club girl. They aim to run a friendly, family oriented riding establishment.

Went to a lesson a couple of weeks ago and was told that I could come and ride my lesson horse a couple times a week for free. This is an invitation that is only given when they think that you can fix something that they (a) can't or (b) don't have time to do. Said lesson horse, "Cody", is an old Q horse that was used for a competative event called Mounted Cowboy Pistol Shooting. The competitor rides really fast from "point a" to "point b" and shoots, with a pistol, several targets along the way. It is a speed & accuracy type of contest.

Well....Cody has only two gears: pa-doop, pa-doop, pa-doop, and vaaa-rrooom. He is very unbalanced from being "neck-reined" with a left hand - he actually has a neck like a banana that is bent to the right, - and leans into the left like a motorcycle taking a left turn. He physically can't bend his body to, gracefully with balance, make a left turn.

He's a good boy, though, and really tries hard. Last night we did a beautiful, soft, relaxed trot - doing figure 8s. It took a lot of concentration for him to make that left turn and, physically, he was challenged, but it was definately progress. A big plus - he luffffs peppermints.

We rode from the arena to the stable afterwards. The sunset was a gift from God. As Paula is prone to say "It was dope!"

Trudy was absolutely super at agility class on Tuesday. Next year we are aiming for some trials. .......and next weekend we are going to dog camp :D.

.....I also love my new car....It is also dope!

.....Just so that he is not feeling left out....I love my husband, too.

Two training groups. One friendly....one not.

2005-08-15T10:25:00.000-04:00

Last night the woman who runs the dog obedience classes called me about upcoming classes. She was friendly and encouraging. A week ago, the agility instructor made a point of discussing with me how to proceed with Trudy's agility training. I look forward to continuing agility and obedience with this group. They both made me feel as though there is hope for us yet.

After my horses death, I have transformed my horse-training obsession to a dog-training obsession. I started puppy classes with Trudy at a dog club located near my house that seemed, initially, very promising. I quickly noticed that even the beginner classes contained people and their dogs who had been doing this stuff for a while. I though "Oh great! Serious dog people - great place to start!" After a puppy class, an obedience class, an agility class, and half of a handler's class. I got the feeling that I was dealing with folks who were on the inside ... and I was definitely on the outside. My dog was too small to be (in their estimation) a "good" English setter (They refer to the bench type - she comes from a long line of field champions). She was much too distractible. So...mmmmmby by! I think that the exclusive attitude there is fueled by a couple of the officers who take themselves way too seriously.

Hmmmmm...funny..when I started taking the twerp there, I talked to the breeder, a well-respected field trial person, and his reaction was that they were "snobby.....very very snobby" - I said "nooooo - they are really....OK....I think....serious...you know?".

Because I needed a more convenient class time, I found another group, near my work, to continue agility and obedience training. They don't have a big fancy website like the other place, but they do compete as a group. I found the agility class very well structured and the obedience class motivating and progressive. All the instructors are serious, helpful, and encouraging. Even Trudy is more motivated to learn there. We really looked forward to going to class. Trudy was stellar.

I even toyed with the idea of taking classes at both places, keeping some ties open. I took a handler's class at the snotty place. Trudy was distracted and silly - thumbed her little black nose at the instructor every chance she could get (she's wiser than Mom, I think) and the instructor was so exacerbated, that I dropped out of class in utter shame. I never got a return call or a word of encouragement - (which I took as a "good riddance to bad rubbish on their part).

Soo, I will call the breeder and tell him about this other place. I will tell him that he was right and if any of his new clients want to try obedience or agility, they should avoid the first place and try the second with high recommendations.

...and leave the first place behind.......good riddance to bad rubbish.

Wicked, Juice-sucking Spider - Arrogant Fly Wrapped in Silk

2005-08-09T09:47:00.000-04:00

People who know the story, know of whom I speak.

Here is the story and riddle:

Once upon a time a magic spider, highly talented in charming ways, came upon an arrogant little fly. She know that he would provide a sumptuous feast because his mind was small and only on himself, so easily lured and trapped in her poisonous clutches.

The fly was never completely happy with the his little piles of crap. He always felt that he, in his irridescent glory, should have more beautiful baby flies, bigger lumps of poop and the adoration of all of the other bugs in the bush.

The spider approached the swaggering fly, batting her many mascaraed eyes and wringing her 8 long legs. "Oh, magnificent fly, I have had a poor miserable life, I've been knocked around from pillar to post. I will carress your lovely wings and provide you with what you need if only you will allow me to take a bit of fly juice now and then!"

The fly was wary but the spider's spun silk and constant dancing mesmerized him and her occasional jab went unnoticed. His baby flies were happy to see him so content, even though they thought that she was a strange and somewhat frightening creature. The other flies in the bush warned him that the spider was dangerous, but her adoration and carresses were just too much for him to resist.

Soon, all the rest of the flies in the bush noticed that the arrogant fly was getting wrapped tighter and tighter in the spider's silk. The spider was also taking more and more jabs between her wrapping and dancing and eye batting. The arrogant fly's family was getting very worried, but every time they came to see that the arrogant fly was OK, the spider would hiss and bare her fangs. The true ugly spider face was now apparent.

There were times when the spider slept, however, and one of the little flies went to rescue her father and attempted to dispatch the wicked spider. The arrogant fly became angry and told the little fly to go away and never, ever, ever try to hurt his lovely spider again, then settled down in the strands of ever tightening silk, smiled and dreamed of his spider's mesmerizing eyes and silken carresses.

Well the little fly fluttered away. Her heart was broken, knowing that her father would be happily sucked dry by the wicked arachnid. He no longer cared for even his own well-being, let alone the bush fly family who watched with horror as he was drained and discarded, all alone, by his beloved spider.

The riddle is:

What can you do for an arrogant little fly who doesn't understand that the little fly's love would set him free and provide him with a long and happy fly life and lots of beautiful little fly grandbabies, all bearing his lovely irridescent color. That the spider's carresses would only leave him a dried up shuck and miserably alone.

Stupid fly.

Wonderful Families! Good Vibrations

2005-08-04T14:20:00.000-04:00

We just got home from a family reunion. My nephew, who is hard working, lucky and appreciative, hosted it for the second year at his gorgeous lake house.

Everyone came except for my oldest daughter, dealing with contractors, construction and work, and my stepdaughter tied up with a hectic new job in Calorado. Hope they will make it next year.

Everyone had a loving wonderful time. Even baby boo, the disco princess, felt all of the wonderful vibrations in the air.

If God had a minute and came down, he would be smiling. He might have even had a Corona Light with a lime in it.

The Devil made me do it??

2005-07-25T13:47:00.000-04:00

Been reading about how Harry Potter is influencing the world toward Satanism. Now, I happen to really enjoy Harry Potter. It always has been amazing to me, though, how a a series of children's books written by a down-and-out Scottish lady could just sweep everybody. Hmmm.

If you were the Devil, what would you do that would influence the future of the world: A. Push your message among the likes of Ozzie O. and Judas Priest and a bunch of heavy metal burn outs? or B. Plant an idea within the minds of all the sweet, innocent children (and many adults) in the world via an entertaining children's book?

Another weird thing that I've read about lately is the Illuminati, the World Order, and the hand signals that all the politians (not just Bush and the republicans) and "People Who Matter" flash. I think that, when asked, GWB said that the hand signal representated the U of T Long Horns - that should tell you something.

The top of my brain says "Oh for heaven's sake - is that stupid!" then somewhere deep inside a finger taps me and says "We never know the whole truth".

I've been reading too many apocalypse books.

Schadenfreude (he he he)

2005-07-13T10:58:00.000-04:00

I really try to be a noble woman, but when I see someone, who has given me so much intentional grief in my young life, go through messy crap at the hand of someone of his own choosing, it just f____g feels good.

In my daughter's words - "There, I said it"

Schadenfreude is a German expression (from Schaden: damage, harm; and Freude: joy) meaning pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune or shameful joy. The word is often capitalized, however since all German nouns (proper or common) are capitalized it should be possible to spell it lower case in English.

It is usually believed to not have a direct English equivalent. For example, Harper Collins German-English Dictionary translates schadenfreude as malicious glee or gloating. An apparent English equivalent, derived from Greek, is epicaricacy. This word does not appear in most modern dictionaries but does appear in Nathaniel Bailey's Universal Etymological English Dictionary (1727) under a slightly different spelling (epicharikaky) and gives its etymology as epi (upon) + chara (joy) + kakon (evil).

Taken in a broader sense, it could apply to the feeling of being “blessed” because there are always people who are worse off than ourselves. Instead of compassion or pity for those less fortunate, we are thankful that it is they instead of us. However, it is never used in that sense in German, where it always carries a negative connotation. German actually draws a distinction between "secret schadenfreude" (a private feeling) and "open schadenfreude" (Hohn) which is outright public derision. Ultimately though, in the english language Schadenfreude is commonly characterized as "sick pleasure".

Some German quotes on Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude ist die schönste Freude (denn sie kommt von Herzen). Schadenfreude is the most beautiful kind of joy (since it comes directly from the heart).
Neid zu fühlen ist menschlich, Schadenfreude zu genießen teuflisch. To feel envy is human, to enjoy Schadenfreude is devilish.

Now I will go say a prayer and ask God to forgive me.

Of Ultimatums and Truths

2005-06-21T13:43:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, being a conciencious employee, I filled out a vacation request form for 3 days for a very important family get-together next month. The office manager told me that I couldn't take one of the days off because a co-worker has already put in for that day. I told her that this family event was much more important than this job to me and she needs to find some way of accommodating me.

She told me that one of the owners (living in Palm Springs, no less) says that everyone is replaceable.

She doesn't get it. This is not an ultimatum. The idea of not taking this day off is not an option.

If I lose the job - so be it. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to start my own business.

HELP! I want to kidnap a Border Collie puppy!

2005-06-16T11:09:00.000-04:00

This is taking a lot of will power. My husband is trying to be the voice of reason.

My husband's niece just acquired a border collie puppy. She has two little kids. Her 5 year old wanted a puppy. She is not, per sey, a dog person. They have a fenced back yard. My reflex is - I want to rescue this puppy before they really mess her up. There are already problems with puppy dragging stuff off of the tables and peeing on the couch and chewing shoes (hmmm - submissive urinating from being constantly screamed at?).

When my sister-in-law told me that her daughter has a BC puppy, my first response was "She better be prepared for lots of energy and lots of patience and training". She responded with "...but we remember your Crystal (my BC mix who passed away a couple of years ago) and she was so smart and sweet and wonderful with kids!".

Crystal took some work. I then explained that I was a dedicated "socker mom" for Crystal. We ran every morning in the park at 6:00. We went to agility, flyball, obedience classes and competitions. We did this to prevent our house from being destroyed. We did this to keep from murdering her.

She was my alter ego. She was the dog love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love young Miss Trudy. She is doing very well and I love her to bits. I don't and can't ever compare her to Crystal.

After my explanation, I took a deep breath, smiled and said " It will probably be fine. If your daughter finds her too much to handle, I would be happy to take her. The Trudster could use a young playmate." I also suggested that her daughter get thee to obedience class.

Rocky Mountain High - Low - High - Low

2005-06-13T11:11:00.000-04:00

We are back from our trip to the Rockies. It is beautiful there. People are friendly and active (oxygen deprived?). The only weird thing that I didn't like was that it was 85 in the sun and 50 in the shade .... and then would get down to 30 at night. What's with that?

I think that I am more of a beach person. Give me sun, sultry weather, miles and miles of white beach, cool clear ocean water, a comfortable beach chair with a canvas umbrella, a good book and a large frosty margeurita anytime and I'm set. I find it easy walking down that beach for miles and miles everyday, jumping in the water to cool down, vegging out in the shade and getting buzzed from the sun and the booze. heaven.

A very interesting place that we visited was Leadville. It's 10,000 feet above sea level. The people there are mostly lost in the 70's somewhere. Who needs weed when you brain is screaming for oxygen?

God called a kind, loving man back home

2005-06-02T18:42:00.000-04:00

Today I sent beautiful white flowers to my X sister-in-law, Kay. Her husband passed away last Sunday.

Someone, long ago, said that the "innocent" are the ones that just can't handle the "stuff" here on Earth. My mother was an "innocent" much like my X brother-in-law, Pete. He wasn't the brightest bulb in the basket but he always had a smile and exuded warmth and love. He always had a flirty word or two for the girls. He loved America. When I divorced Kay's brother, Tom, Pete would not give up the idea that I was a good person and always let me know that he was thinking good thoughts about me.

When I went into labor with my second daughter, Pete was the one that I woke up at 3 in the morning. He bundled me into the car and, in his still sleepy confusion, started to drive to the wrong hospital. With an apologetic smile, he managed to get me to the right place and everything worked out just fine.

I guess he just wasn't gnarly enough for this world.

I will always remember him nailing a hankerchief to the door frame and practice his Greek dancing. He never had a lick of rhythm but he sure had some fabulous moves.

He's probably showing God a thing or two, hangin' on some sturdy cloud somewhere, and making the angels blush and giggle.

Moi? Passive Aggressive?

2005-05-26T11:55:00.000-04:00

Senerio:
Co-worker: Diane, could you please scan a picture and print it for me?
Me: Oh, sure, no problem. (I do it promptly and give co-worker print out.)
Co-worker: Oh, thank you, thank you. You are the best. Um, Diane, could you please take some of the pink out and get rid of the spot in the middle?
Me: Sure, no problem. (I do it, again, and give co-worker print out.)
Co-worker: Oh, thank you, thank you. You are truly the best. Um, Diane, could you please make some more copies?
Me: Uh, sure, ....when I have time (like when pigs fly).
Co-worker: Hey, Di, where are my copies?
Me: Haven't been able to get to it (like when you need a parka in Hell).
Co-worker: Well, I never?
Me:Well, I guess you won't! Then I usually go do it because I feel evil.

Why can't I just say no in the first place.

Jack, My Bestest Friend

2005-05-18T12:10:00.000-04:00

Last night I met my "Ditz" quota.

Trudy and I went to agility class and we did very well. It was a beautiful evening, so I decided to go to the dog park and let her play off leash. We had a good time. She met a handsome German Short Haired Pointer called Baron. We worked on some off-leash agility, using the excellent equipment that they have installed at the park. Life was fine.

We decided to go home....

I leashed Trudy and we walked to the car. Reached into my pocket to get my keys and They were not there. Luckily a man was there to do some jogging....he let me use his cell phone to call Jack.

Jack could not find my extra set of keys at home...we were hoping that they were in the car (my inner-self just snickered). He came out to pick me up. We broke into my car (the rear window is plexiglass and we poked the toggle switch with a wire). My keys were not there (snickering inner self).

We left a note on my car and Jack drove me home. Luckily I found my extra keys on the kitchen floor behind my little lifty stool.

Jack drove me back out to the dog park (by the way, it's 1/2 hr. away) to pick up my car. It was 12:30 at night when we finally got home.

He never once yelled at me, glowered at me, called me stupid or tried to make me cry. He actually tried to make me laugh, instead. I asked him why he wasn't really really angry at me for losing my keys. He told me that it was because he loves me and and why would he want to make me feel worse that I already do, besides, he didn't wan't me to be angry at him the next time he needs me to rescue him... (long sigh)....don't I know by now that that is what loving someone is all about? .......just try not to do it again.

Life with Jack is good

I want to go to Camp Dogwood!

2005-05-05T11:09:00.000-04:00

Seee.....there is this dog camp. I know, I know - why can't I just be normal and yern to go to a nifty all inclusive resort down in the Caribbean......

There's a session in October - it's located in the Fox Lake area. You go to camp with your dog and do neat stuff off leash - likehiking, camping, agility and flyball. I get excited just thinking about it.

There is another session in February - It is an inside camp - actually located in the Purple Palace in Lincolnwood. They're going to have all the sports activities, and also T-touch, an animal communicator, message, yoga.......fun stuff (if you are a dog person).

Trudy and I just might take the plunge!

Sin City

2005-05-03T14:11:00.000-04:00

Jack and I went to Vegas for our 10th anniversary. Vegas is pretty astounding, but I can only stand it for a few day, then I have to get back to Earth (literally - the substance in which plants grow.)

The Wynn Tower is amazing. It looks like it rose from the ground like the monolyths in 2001 Space Odyssy. It is simple, contemporary and very very expensive. It makes you wonder how they plan to keep all those Pine trees alive on the fake mountain.

Actually, Hell must be a bit like Vegas. Beautiful on the outside, nasty and mean on the inside. After a couple of days, the desk clerks begin to look like those demon ladies in the movie "The Devil's Advocate". The serging masses in the street begin to look like
the "damned", all looking for a drink of water.

Run, run, run, back to your pretty little place - don't look back, you might turn into a piller of salt

Questions, Questions, Questions

2005-04-14T16:42:00.000-04:00

Well, here goes, Paula.

1. who would play you in a movie about your life?
Meryl Streep. She could do it.

2. what one basic parenting tenet would you say you followed while mothering three girls?
You can't expect people to respect you if you don't respect yourself.

3. what was your favorite hairstyle you had in the 80s? looking back, what hairdo signaled that you may have reached the nadir of fashion victimhood?
1. A chin length bob that was really short in the back and really long and whiskery in the front, or
2. really blond streaked, permed and scrunched (it really played havoc with my hair, though - I vowed to never perm again).

4. is your life anything your 18-year-old self would have envisioned? why or why not?
Ya know, that is a hard one. I wanted my S.O. to really, actually, honestly likes me even when I'm snotty and unwashed. AndI wanted to be acknowledged for my talents, and I have both. (God works in mysterious ways l.o.l.)

5. what do you want to do for mother's day?
To tell you the absolute truth, I would probably like to go to a dog camp with Trudy, but (realistically) I really enjoy being taken out to a really nice bruch with Bloody Maries et al by y'all. I may just take her to dog park on Saturday for my fix.

The Official Interview Game Rules

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.

3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Some People Just Love Drama (I guess)

2005-04-14T14:59:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that some people just like to storm around, screaming and bellowing in rage like pissed off bovines in a china shop, while others stand there and ring their hands and get ulcers?

Usually these people claim that they are the victims of constant vast injustice. The people who pay attention these beasts are the one who are constantly trampled.

Whenever I hear about such "bull"(lol) crap, I just step aside and think, "Bar-B-Que anyone?"

2005-04-05T09:41:00.000-04:00

Fraggle, who?

I've been so busy that I haven't even noticed that March is past and April is here. It's so funny that once the weather starts getting nice, you can't even remember the crappy stuff.

Easter was great. My kids again astound me with their ever improving egg painting skills. It is such a neat holiday because it is so laid back. This year especially, I just sat back and enjoyed the love and the beauty.

Miss Trudy started agility class (way fun) and we have been visiting dog parks (way way fun - for the Trude). I'm afraid, though, just like a little pre-schooler, she has contracted a mild upper respiratory infection. Going to the doctor today. It hasn't slowed her down any. She is such a joyfull creature. I am just crazy about her. Sometimes I'm afraid that I will jinx her because I dote on her so much.

Went to a shower on Sunday. It was very OK. I sat next to a wonderful lady who reminded me so much of a beloved X sister in law. She was fun and a bit wicked (re. my X's wife-who was there) but never in a really mean way.

I've been busy at work. Hey - it makes me feel important and...they pay me.

Life is good.

I'm Sick of Being Cold!

2005-03-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

We decided to go South for a bit to get away from the cold. The only problem with this plan is......you have to come back North!

We are so stupid. We know, perfectly well, that after cavorting around in little knit jackets and cropped pants, taking wonderful walks on the beach with the Twerp a.k.a Trudy Blue, listening to wonderful jazz with glass of wine in hand while looking at the sunset over the Gulf, coming home to Michigan frozen Hell is self-torture. You would need to stay away at least until April for it to make sense.

As I walk to my ice frosted car, swathed in my puffy, black, dirty michelin-man microfiber parka with a plaid woolen scarf wrapped around my poor little fuzzy head, I start to seriously wonder what the price of a little place off the beach would set us back.

....But then we are a hardy lot and this too shall pass. Michigan is a beautiful place in the summer.... I must repeat that to myself - over and over - as I scrape the ice from my frozen-shut car door.

2004-12-28T16:36:00.000-05:00

Again - you are suppose to double click on the cartoon to be able to read it.

Everybody came to Christmas in spite of myself!

It was a really wonderful weekend, even though I was one pony short of a load. After I had to put the General down, the last thing I wanted to do was deal with Christmas. I felt like laying on the ground and letting the world go over me. It didn't even matter that my house wasn't as "Holiday, in order" as it should have been or my cooking wasn't as great as it usually is on Christmas (I made turnips - for God sake), everyone seemed to have a good time.

My husband, Jack, even shed a tear when everyone left.

What more can I say - next year I promise not to make turnips.
(Paula - yes, I proof read)

Witnessing Human Evolution!!???

2004-11-19T16:56:00.000-05:00

Click on graphic to read comic...again.

Well...it finally happened! My daughter's 30th brithday party brought both me and my X together at last.

After bolstering myself with several alcolic reinforcements, I approached, first his wife and then .....the man himself. My children were in a state of breathless suspended animation at the bar waiting for complete distruction. After all....we haven't spoken in 11 years

Our conversation was non-confrontational and....actually rather pleasant. No one wanted to rock the boat. My husband, Jack, had a long conversation with Tom about fishing. I gauked. Judy, my X's wife just talked about whatever prevented "dead air"

My kids, I think, were afraid of ruining THE PEACE. They were afraid that one word from them would turn the whole thing over.

There is hope in this world.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger - yeah right

2004-11-17T16:44:00.000-05:00

CLICK ON IMAGE TO READ COMIC
The Holiday Season - where can I buy a temporary robot brain on the web?

I talked to my "totally amazing" older sister today. She's stressing - I'm amazed that she would admit this to me. She confided that she has had many invitations for Thanksgiving via her children and has decided that she would rather spend a quiet dinner with her crazy real estate partner and his wife instead.

I've always considered the holidays like hunkering down and pushing through a horrible storm. This is the time that I most long to be a Stepford Wife.

2004-11-11T14:48:00.000-05:00

A pilate reject

Taking Credit Where It Is Definately NOT Due

2004-11-11T14:13:00.000-05:00

Did my monthly dressage clinic, with Katherine Sutton, on Sunday. She just raved at how well Chinos, a very large, fat, & lazy Holsteiner mare, was coming along. She told me that she relies heavily on me to get this horse moving and back into shape. She tells me how the owner is soooooo happy lwith my efforts.

......the thing is.......I'm lucky if I ride this horse once a week. I think that I have a rep for being a bit - let's say - aggressive with horses.

I nod and smile, though. I think the owner is just riding Chinos as aggressively as he thinks that I am and making progress!

I can take credit for that.

2004-11-08T15:15:00.000-05:00

I gotta go PEEEE!

Of Northern Lights & Dog Knowledge

2004-11-08T11:48:00.000-05:00

Last night I saw the Northern Lights. It looked like a silver rainbow with a pink and green rippling curtain hanging from it. The meadow in the back of our house is a perfect arena for viewing "things in the sky". The only reason I would go out into the meadow at 9:30 at night is to take the puppy out to go pee. Last night Trudy insisted that I take her out.

It makes you wonder what dogs know and whatthey are NOT telling you.